can i admit that i am
angry
hurt
vulnerable
scared
alone

i want to blame
hate
fault
but whom or what
when

i yearn for
reparations
healing
understanding
but by whom
or what

i need to
cry
scream
yell
vent
and reach out to
loved ones
hated ones
and take
their hand

i don't want to
face a reality
filled with violence
bloodshed
war
and injustice
but
it's been here
i've just
been
protected
sheltered
unaware
and now i'm
shocked
perplexed
blown away
torn
broken
hurt
and how do i
come to terms with that?
. .. .

cesar a. cruz